


Paint me a war

by Tunder28



Category: Hellboy - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 17:59:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tunder28/pseuds/Tunder28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Artwork with fic</p><p>Hellboy and Nuada change the rules to their fighting. Using Non lethal methods they decide to use paint guns to best each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint me a war

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=16j4mf)

_Yes everyone seems to be involved....and against each other ___

__It really was all hellboys fault. It was all on him this time....and the time before but john was certain this one took the cake._ _

__He shook his head as he crept silently down the wide open corridor that would lead him to the library, trying to step and twist to not make his shiny shoes squeak. Currently the base was covered near head to toe in paint due to the small war that had broke out. Again, Hellboys fault.  
Due to a small alliance in races, Nuada and Nuala had been confined to the base for the past 2 months while Manning ran around in circles trying to find a use for them. Abe wasn’t far behind him and would sweep after Nuala like a lost cub...or fish. The point was, they were stuck at the base till action was taken. _ _

__This wasn’t the type of action he would have preferred._ _

__Hellboy had taken from goading John to goading Nuada, who had been stripped of his armour and weapon. Sadly that didn’t stop the prince from making make-shift weapons and pinning hellboy to walls in his outbursts. John wasn’t getting involved in that bag of trouble. Unless of course, Manning was feeling extra deadly and put John on nanny duty for the both of them._ _

__At first, all that happened were challenges that started small and not worthy of a cleanup crew. Small things eventually evolved into battles of will and pride. John really hated prideful supernatural’s....more like prideful princes. God John hated pride._ _

__Ping pong turned into a battle of wills. Lectures on war, fighting styles, the best types of weapons which lead to comparing them and both of them being put into time out for hours while the west wall was rebuilt from that one game. Nuala made John feel terrible with her continuous and sincere apologies for her brother and Abe floating after her with soft eyes and softer words._ _

__But this was not what John had been expecting upon returning to base after his lunch break._ _

__He’d been gone half an hour. Half!- and the base was in near ruin and painted every colour of the rainbow. A guard had granted him access back into base and had proceeded to point a paint ball gun into Johns face, who had held up his hands in confusing._ _

__“Sorry Johnny, the rules-“ and had fallen forward onto Johns lunch bag, knocking it to the floor and successfully blocking three shots meant for John. Somehow, he was unconscious and John had a moment of frozen panic. Training had thankfully kicked in and John had dodged behind a fallen table as shots zipped past his ears and arms._ _

__Looking around him had revealed over 30 guards all unconscious around the room, blue and yellow blobs vivid on them all. Two shooters then. He’d grabbed at his side arm, taken aim at the open corridor and shouted out a warning to cease fire._ _

__“Hey, John calm down. It’s just us” Liz stepped out into the open, paint gun aimed safely at the ceiling and-_ _

__“Mr Krauss, why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the London base?”_ _

__The heavy clunk of Krauss’s steps made John silently consider how he hadn’t given his position away. Liz’s eye role might have meant the same if she didn’t look like she was suited up like Rambo, paint bombs on her hips._ _

__“Ya- but I was merely-“ and was cut off by two red paint balls hitting the glass surface of the helmet. He wobbled for a second and dropped. Liz shouted a warning to take cover, before she was hit by white blobbed shots and dropped._ _

__John was back behind his cover the instant of the warning._ _

__“Gods dammit you pointy stick eared elf!”_ _

__John cringed inside. This was not good._ _

__A long succession of thunks was heard as quick and almost silent feet shot across the room. Hellboys heavier steps clubbed after them just as fast, taking the mayhem with them. John timed it till they couldn’t make it back in the room after him should they decide to take him out, and raced over to Liz._ _

__Both of them were out._ _

__Great. What was he going to now....and what was going on._ _

__An hour of wandering the base and fearing he would be jumped revealed the answer. A poster had be slapped onto one of the main walls, with large and messy handwriting sprawled all over the page._ _

__A war had been decreed._ _

__Hellboy had took a picture from one of the CCTV cameras of Nuada, with a warning on._ _

__“No more messing around. New rules are simple, it’s a playful gun war. A paint ball gun war. Last one standing gets the others weapon. The best and favourite weapon! No bloodshed. (Hate for squirt to freak) Nowhere is safe and we only do this on base”_ _

__John stood glaring at the poster for a good 2 minutes. Hellboy had started a war. And with such ....an open invitation. No doubt manning had jumped at the chance to disarm either hellboy or Nuada and had gotten teams together to ambush them. It explained the main deck at the very least. Two great forces of nature battling. Manning and his men didn’t stand a chance._ _

__John shuck his head at the sheer stupidity of it and started down to abes room. Hopefully he would have some sympathy for John and his miserable life._ _

__“Abe have you seen what hell-Oh!”_ _

__Nuala spun around, back guarding a large open tome of a book and warily looking at John like he might attack any moment. John gave her a smile he hoped showed how un-scary he was, and put his hands up as he entered._ _

__“I’m sorry princess Nuala I was looking for Abe. Hellboys started a new mess and I was hoping.....erm”_ _

__He was staring at her down the length of another paint ball gun, her small hands cradled around the trigger with ease. Her face was still inquiring, waiting for him to finish as if what he was saying was interesting to her. But all he could do was gape like a fish. She looked so helpless a moment ago...but then again, John mentally kicked himself, she was the daughter of the Elvin king and would know how to defend herself._ _

__Smooth and sleek like her brother. Who’s fault this was also._ _

__“Erm...princess, I mean you no harm. I just need Abe to-“_ _

__Abe made his appearance around one of his many bookshelves, brandishing another paint gun at John. What was wrong with his life suddenly. He didn’t know how his life had gotten into such a mess, or more to be if a shot to the face by paint ball was any way to go._ _

__Years of running with hellboy seemed to insight a sense of foretelling when danger was due to strike. The hairs on his neck stood up as both Nuala and Abe stitched as if all of them knew what was about to happen._ _

__John reacted first, diving under the table as the shots fired. Nuala and Abe must not have been too serious, since they fell under the shots meant for john without their weapons going off._ _

__Crawling around and using the now overturned table as cover, John cursed up a storm in his head. He could hear Nuada and Hellboy spitting insults at each other over Nuala and Abe. If he stood a chance, John was going to kill the two of them over this._ _

__The two enemies chased each other off down the corridor, their paint guns going off constantly. They’d be running out of ammo soon. And John just happened to have two paint guns right in front of him. They wouldn’t be needing them and John would use all the help he could get.  
When he found them again, they were doing a standoff in the great hall. Nicknamed that by the other agents for its sheer length right through the base and it being a straight line. Clear line of sight to each other and the old western standoff. Hellboy must be overjoyed._ _

__The movies made it look so cliché, but seeing them race at each other firing, John knew if they could find a way to kill each other with such non-deadly weapons they would. It took 10 seconds for them to run out of ammo thankfully and the two stood without a shot on them._ _

__John didn’t know how, since Hellboy seemed hard to miss and with such a corridor it wasn’t too east to dodge around. Ok time for him to get serious. Priorities...._ _

__1-The base was ruined and manning was due back too soon from a meeting._ _

__2-John would get the blame since he was meant to be watching them. Plus that for the other agents regardless of their reasons_ _

__3-He was going to get fired and tossed out onto the street._ _

__“You stupid ape! Have you no honour. Fight me as a warrior and let us finish this. I tire of the human nanny bickering with me because of you. If you are not here he will leave me in peace to train!”_ _

__“Hey I’m not the one who set off the sprinklers last week ‘Mr. Cook’. Now I know it was Johnny’s birthday but really-”_ _

__“Be silent beast. Even I, a high prince, can recognise loyalty and let it be rewarded. You have no whim but for yourself and lack the quality of high blood royalty and grace”._ _

__Hellboy sniggered, but his face twitched anyways- “Well at least we all know I’m his favourite. You know he used to read my comics hmm”  
John didn’t know it was possible for Nuada to look even more pissed off. He was feeling kinda pissed too. They were fighting all the time and now they were fighting for his attention. Gods....what a pair of royal brats._ _

__He wasn’t even noticed as he popped the guns out the corridor. It seemed being ignored by the two royals was finally paying off.  
The look on their faces when they both received shots to the chest was amazing. He would have to bribe the guard up in tech to get him a printed off for his office wall. Maybe he would frame it._ _

__“Alright that’s enough out of the two of you. Now that this...game, is over. We can all get back to work. Get back to saving the world and NOT killing each other”._ _

__Nuada’s ears turned a slight hint of pink, while hellboy stuttered. Both seemed flustered with his arrival and their imminent defeat. And also very relieved he hadn’t gave them one of the biggest telling off’s. It was legendary for his to lose his cool. And so far, it had happened 5 times within the months he’d been babysitting the two._ _

__Well John was happy to disappoint._ _

__“Both of you are on cleaning duty...the entire base”. He held up a hand to stem the outraged shouting- “and it will all be cleaned before manning gets back. He’s going to blow a fuse if he sees the state of this place over your little bit of fun”.  
“Its a little late for that Mr Myers” _ _

__John really hated when the director reminded him how he’d advanced so fast through the ranks. He was highly political...and highly light footed. John rolled his shoulders to try and hide how hard he’d jumped._ _

__“Sir-“_ _

__“No. One second Mr Myers. I want to clarify something. So these two managed to ambush the entire unit of agents stationed here at this base, wipe them all out with tranquilizer fueled paint and colour the entirety of the base in every colour of gods mighty rainbow”._ _

__It sounded sweet, if you missed the threat soon to follow of its heels as Manning waited for someone to respond. John was chewing around his tongue to try and salvage the situation._ _

__Well-he did have one or two ideas._ _

__“No-Yes sir. I was just also discussing with the two how they were to be punished”._ _

__“Oh. Do go on Agent Myers”_ _

__John could salvage this, but perfect wording was all that would get him to keep his job._ _

__“Yes. Nuada AND Hellboy are both to clean the mess that has been made over this game, as well as hand over their most favourite weapon. Now, to Hellboy that would be his Samaritan, and Nuada his lance. Both will be without their weapons while on base until it deemed worthwhile for them to keep them”._ _

__The mess would get cleaned, and there’d be no more posturing with weapons and deadly duels for a month or two._ _

__He didn’t even try to hide his smirk at the outcry this brought from the two._ _

__Well he had won the game._ _

__Manning was nodding, his own smirk working its way onto his face._ _

__“Very well Agent Myers. Carry on. And You two, No more fighting on base. The property destruction alone will send you and me both into retirement. Agent” A quick nod and manning was off._ _

__“John you gotta be kidding me. You cant take my gun. Its my baby. I sleep with that thing-“ Hellboy didn’t look so daunting in size as he reached out to john in an attempt to stop him._ _

__“No buts. That was the rules of your game and I won it. Now you will both hand over your weapons and do as your told for once”._ _

__With a sad sigh, Hellboy presented his gun. John made sure to take it from him gently. One in case he ragged it back out of reach and two, John might lose an arm if Hellboy felt he wasn’t holding it right._ _

__Nuada tilted his chin up, his lance perched on his shoulder._ _

__“Nuada please. Warriors rules, isn’t that right. Are you not going to honour the deal?”_ _

__With an angry grunt the lance was slapped into his waiting palm. He shouted a loose thank you as Nuada stormed away, closely followed by Hellboy._ _

__Now he would just have to hope the two didn’t try to drown each other with soapy water when cleaning up. He didn’t think it would take them too long to try._ _

__END_ _


End file.
